Creating A Healthy Connection With Your Child

Control Yourself not Your Child

Learning to control ourselves and our reactions helps us to influence our children in a positive way and what better way is there than by setting a great example?

Ultimately we want to foster an atmosphere of cooperation that only comes from a healthy heart-based connection and being willing to 'go first' and be a positive role model.

Often parents end up fostering an atmosphere of compliance that is unhealthy and driven by the need for control and being in power which is not a healthy dynamic. This often happens because the parents experienced this as a child also, out of frustration and not knowing what to do instead

It is all about finding that healthy connection with our children, being a role model, and making them feel loved and cared for unconditionally with our actions and expressions

CONNECTION leads to COOPERATION

DISCONNECTION leads to DEFIANCE

We can create a more loving, healthier connection by practicing one of the steps below every day

Practicing these steps can have a huge impact on our connection with our children.

As we begin using these methods when interacting with our children we will learn what works and what doesn't (each child is different)

With practice, our window of tolerance increases as will the influence we have, and most importantly love will grow.

Imagine if this helps our interactions with others become too as we become more self aware.

Remember children learn mostly from what they are shown not from what they are told - parents are children's first and ususally the most long-lasting impactful role models.

Essentially it is about being mindful of what we are expressing to others

• Facial Expressions

What is your face saying?

Is your face grimacing or soft and kind? Is your face saying I care, come closer or is it saying stay away?

• Timing

Can you breathe, wait, not talk at all, talk with them and not at them?

(check out the previous blog about emotional regulation)

• Intensity

Are you able to use a quieter voice? Can you speak firmly yet gently?

• Tone of Voice

What does your tone of voice say?

Is your tone saying I hate you or I love you?

Are you able to soften your tone?

• Gestures

What are your hands doing and what does this convey?

Are your fists clenched and fingers wagging and pointing, or are your hands relaxed and open?

• Eye Contact

What are your eyes saying?

Are your eyes rolling in disappointment or staring menacingly or, soft, warm, and caring?

Are you able to keep warm eye contact even if they don't?

It may all seem tricky and time consuming at first yet will soon become second nature and will feel so worthwhile once you get going and see the results

Let us create healthy connections - Let us lead with love

Much Love. Light & Peace